Snape's Real Worst Memory
by WonderFuuandMisaki
Summary: James wants revenge, and is willing to get it by any means, but what happens when it backfires? Non-consent, slash, JamesxSnape.
1. Loss

**WARNING: RAPE**

It felt like the worst day of my life. It hurt both my body and my pride, and caused me great grief.

He had always made fun of me, that James Potter. How had I not turned out disliking him? The abuse was enough to drive me insane. But that day changed everything. The day where he stole something very… precious from me.

"Hey Snivellus! Did you wet your panties again today?" called James from the end of the deserted hallway. I could see his friends jeer at me from behind him. "As a matter of fact, I did not, nor have I never." I muttered sullenly. But no one seemed to take notice of my comeback.

"I'm hungry, James…" Sirius whined. "Go on ahead to the great hall and get something to eat, I follow you as soon as I'm done with him." James replied shortly. The rest of the group moved from the hall shortly thereafter.

Then it was just he and I. He strode quickly towards me, and I had the sudden urge to get the hell out of there. I ran down through the dungeons, hoping that he was too cowardice to follow me into Slytherin territory.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" he called out.

Or could I?

I dove into a classroom at random, and found it to be empty. I made for the armoir, but then felt someone grab me from behind, stopping my entrance. I spun around to see James, holding firmly on to my arm with an extremely secure grip.

"I warned you that you couldn't hide from me." He said with a smirk, fully of malice. "What do you want from me?" I shouted, attempting to shake loose.

"What every teenage boy is deprived of when the girl he likes has a thing for some jack-arse like yourself," James intoned.

"Is this about revenge?" I inquired. And at that point, James had an all-knowing grin spread wide across his smug face.

"Bingo," James said, as he undid his trousers with one hand.

I gulped, "What-what are you doing?" I reached for my wand, but he was much faster, and took it from me, flinging it across the room. I escaped his grip narrowly, and made to run away, when he shouted "_Incarcerous!"_ I nearly screamed as I felt my arms being bound to my torso.

No matter how much I struggled, I could not free myself. I fell to the ground, squirming, and he lowered himself over me. I could feel my fear growing by the second.

"You're not going to get away." He stated grimly.

I saw from an awkward angle as he tore my pants down to my ankles, my underwear following shortly.

"No… stop!" I shouted, hoping to be overheard by a passing person. I looked in mortification as he positioned his member right in front of my posterior. I screamed in agony, as he hilted himself inside of me, without a shred of warning or preparation.

The pain was almost unbearable. I felt as though I was being torn apart from the inside. My cries of torture only seemed to spur him on. I almost felt detached from my body at that moment.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as he moved in and out repetitively. My backside burned a hot intense pain that would not let up.

Perhaps this was what it felt like to die.

Just as I thought I could take no more, I would surely die of the agony, he paused and withdrew, "Let that be a lesson to you, Snivellus, not to touch what is mine." He promptly took his leave after that.

I felt as if I stayed there laying on that floor for hours, although it may have only been minutes. I knew I couldn't tell anyone about it, as no one would believe me, especially not Lilly. Then again, why would I tell anyone?

As I got up, I noticed a pool of blood where I had laid, and reached back to check if it was my own. When I brought my hand back up, I saw it was covered in blood. I reckoned it was from all the tearing I felt.

I pulled my pants up, and tried to walk out of the room. Every step caused me pain, the likes of which I'd never felt before. Time went by quickly after that, and soon I would wake up from nightmares about this day, again and again.

What would become of me?

**A/N: So this is the darkest thing we've uploaded so far. I think. Rape is srs bzns guys. Don't do it. Anyway, we hope you liked it, and don't hate us. It's gonna be sad for a while. WF & Misaki. P.S. may be suicidal thoughts later.**


	2. A Narrow Encounter

After care of magical creatures class, I made my way down the forest path back to school. Everyone had already gone ahead to the school since the professor had stopped me to talk about my dismal grades in care of magical creatures.

I walked as quickly as possible to avoid any confrontations with the so-called "Marauders". I felt home free as I neared the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and I could see the castle walls gleaming ahead of me in the hot sun. However my lightheartedness was short-lived as I felt a hand reach around and cover my mouth, a wand poking into my back. (A/N: And yes it is a wand.)

I was ushered towards a deeply wooded area far away from the path. My captor was still unknown to me, and they brought to a slightly open area where they pushed me into a tree so that I fell, hurt, to the ground.

I looked up wearily and saw the rat-like face that could only be that of Peter Pettigrew. I was slightly shocked upon realizing that it was Pettigrew, I had expected Potter. Besides, Pettigrew was awfully hideous.

"What do you want?" I said, arrogantly, and spat at the ground. "I just want a piece of what James had the other day." He replied, snarkily. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and muttered; "I don't think we're having cheesecake tonight."

"You've got a smart mouth there, lets see how well you use it." He said, with a malicious grin spread wide across his face. At this second I got up and made a run for it, but of course he chased me down and tackled me to the ground. I grabbed at the ground frantically but it was all for naught, he was so heavy and rotund that there would be no way of getting him off of me.

He started to attempt to take my clothes off, but then I heard a voice call from a distance. "Wormtail, is that you? We've been looking for you everywhere." I thought this would be a chance to save myself so I screamed at this person for help. Just a second later I saw Potter jogging into my vision.

Pettigrew immediately removed himself from on top of me, and was shooed away by Potter. I stood up and straightened my clothes, it was then that Potter looked at me and said, "You should be thanking me right now."

"For what?" I replied, ungratefully. "I just saved you, didn't I?" He answered with a serious face.

"I don't care. You're the last person I want help from." I said turning away from him and starting to walk back towards Hogwarts. "Alright, then next time I won't help you." He called out. I stopped dead in my tracks for only a second upon hearing this, then moved on.

**A/N: Woo! Chapter two! Scared you didn't I? Thought I was gonna put something gross, huh? Lucky you! Anyways… lots of these situations will be popping up later, I believe. Thanks for reading!~ :DDD**


	3. Pleasurable Pain

Every dinner I sat with Lucius Malfoy, Avery, and Nott, and we ate more or less in silence throughout our meals. Every one in a while one of us would pause to tell the others about something funny that may have happened in the day, this occurred several times during most of our meals.

But that is beside the point, what really came as a surprise was what happened after dinner. As we walked together out of the Great Hall, I noticed a peculiar amount of students standing in a group around the bulletin board, and as I passed by, several of them snickered and looked in my direction.

I glared back, and pushed my way through the front of the group. What I saw came to me as quite a shock, although it was a rather unsurprising prank for the 'Marauders'.

What I saw was a sign that said this: Severus Snape, a git? No. Just a poor, confused boy, willing to give sexual favors to older male students in exchange for a few sickles.

I immediately ripped the sign from the bulletin board and threw it in the trash. Now I was mad, and James Potter was going to have to deal with it, or with my wrath. I turned back and grabbed the sign back from the trash.

I marched back into the Great Hall, and scanned the masses for James and his 'crew'. I was seething with anger when I stomped up to their table, and slammed the paper down in front of Potter.

"What is the meaning of this?" I demanded. Potter looked up at me with innocent eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about, Snivellus." He lied smoothly. "But if you'd like to _discuss _this, then I suggest we take it to a quieter, _less public_ place."

I gulped. I knew I had gotten myself into trouble once again. "Perhaps not then…" I trailed off. "Oh no, this _obviously_ upset you. We'll have to get to the bottom of it. Come, we'll _talk _in private." Potter's eyes narrowed, but he gave me a mock-friendly grin, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me forcefully out of the Great Hall.

He pulled me into the empty charms corridor and pushed me against the wall. "What did you think you were doing in there? Wanted to make a fool of me, eh?" He questioned. I turned away, "I'm not your dog, Potter." I muttered, nervously. "That would be Black." I added.

I pushed him away from me and tried to walk away, but he pulled me back. "You don't seriously think you're getting out of this, do you?" His eyes became cold and emotionless, as his fingers dug into my arm.

"That hurts...!" I said rather loudly. "Does it now?" He added, smiling harshly and digging his fingers deeper. I whimpered, "Just let me go, please…" I begged him. "Look at that. Snape, begging. Maybe you are my dog after all. Lets see what else you'll beg for."

I saw a flash of Potter's wand before I felt a breeze in my nether regions. I glanced down to find that my trousers had vanished. I looked at him in horror, I was about to make one last attempt to talk my way out of this, when I felt a swift burning pain in my backside as Potter thrust into me. It hurt slightly less this time, and I wondered why as I took a shaky look down and saw that it wasn't him inside me, but rather… his wand.

"What… are you doing?" I said, my voice cracking. "Hm? Oh nothing." He said, pushing it deeper. I gasped, my whole body trembling. He moved it around, I felt it hit my prostate and gave a small squeal of approval then quickly attempted to stifle it.

He had heard [**A/N: My fart.**] me, and moved it in the same motion, hitting it again. This time I cried out in both agony and pleasure. "What's this? So you like it now?" He asked me, with a sinister grin.

He did the same a few more times before sliding it out. I whimpered in annoyance, somewhere along the way I had noticed that I had become hard. I desperately needed release, to the extent where it was painful.

"M-more, please…" I gasped. "What was that, Snivellus, I couldn't hear you?" He inquired. "I want… more." I said, slightly louder, embarrassed at the fact I was actually asking for it.

"You'll have to do better than that if you want me to fuck you." He tormented with a smirk of victory. "Say: 'Please fuck me' And I will give it to you." He told me. I was suddenly torn by pleasure, and my pride.

I wanted it so bad, but I knew I would feel terrible about myself were I to say it, but I was out of options and it slipped right off my tongue, "Please, fuck me!" I practically yelled. "Since you asked so nicely…" He answered, "Perhaps I should reward you with a treat, mutt?"

He slammed his hard member into my ass, I moaned, finally the relief I craved was here. He plowed into me harder and faster, eliciting a throaty grunt. He once again found my sweet spot, and began hitting again and again, causing me to moan loader than before.

I came much quicker than him, considering I was being stimulated before he had entered me, but Potter quickly followed anyway. Once he was finished, he removed himself from me, zipped up his pants and started to walk away.

He paused for a second and turned back to look at me, "Oh, before I go…" He tossed something in my direction, and it clattered onto the floor. Once he was gone I checked to see what it was. There lie two sickles. I growled to myself, "Oh, so I was cheap whore to him?" I felt a tear roll down my cheek as a thought occurred to me, why did I even care?

I pulled my pants up and began my walk back to the Slytherin common rooms, not noticing the eyes that followed my every step.

**A/N: Okayyy. So this chapter was… intense. We hope you liked it. Now tell us, did he pick up the sickles?**


	4. Smoking In The After Glow

I was on my back to the Slytherin common rooms, when I was stopped yet again. This time by another one of the 'Marauders', I didn't know whether to be relived that it wasn't Potter or not.

As I was in a bad mood, and in quite a bit of pain, I didn't particularly feel up to dealing with Black. Before I could avoid him, he grabbed me by the arm, and I could already tell that he was going to make some excuse for needing to talk to me.

"Professor Slughorn wishes to see you." Black informed me. "Let me escort you to his office." I shook him off, and said "I don't need your help finding it." He grabbed my arm once again, though this time more roughly and began to drag me in the polar opposite direction of Slughorn's office, "I insist."

I was actually kind of scared to try to shake him off again. The expression on his face was dark and sinister, and after only a bit of walking, I knew exactly where we were going.

We were heading in the direction of the astronomy tower, and while normally you wouldn't guess that it was where they were going, this was a different case. The astronomy tower was where the mutt took all of his 'Acquaintances'. I was sure that this would not be a different case.

Once we were inside the tower, there were no more formalities between us. He wasted no time in getting down to business.

"Strip, Snivellus."

I gulped. "No." I was nervous, there was no hiding that but perhaps Black would simply leave it at that. Or at least, that was my hope. Things never seem to pan out in my favor, however.

I finally decided to fully resist, I pulled out my wand, and brought it forward, I was fast, but Black was faster. By the time I had fully extended my arm and gotten an aim on him, he had already sent a spell my way.

"_Expelliarmus._" He said calmly. Just like that, my final act of resistance was over, and I had nothing left to protect me from whatever pain Black was about to dish out. After that, he pointed his wand at me as if threatening the unforgivable curses.

"Imperio,"

The last thing I remember seeing was the hazy figure of Black smoking a cigarette, standing over me as I lay on my back, sweaty and ashamed, even though I didn't quite know why.


	5. No Place Is Safe

Severus walked awkwardly back to the Slytherin common rooms. He was extremely sore, but less so than the first time. As he reached the door, a smile spread across his face. At least he was safe inside of the Slytherin common room, where James could not easily enter.

He wasted no time getting to bed, and once he was there, he quickly fell asleep. It was as if his troubles all melted away…

* * *

No one heard the small burst of the floo as someone came through the fire. He snuck up to the dormitories and cast a quick alohamora, gaining him entrance to the Slytherin 6th year's bedroom.

Severus Snape was having the most wonderful dream. He dreamt of a softly simmering potion that he had created to cure lycanthropy, then receiving an Order of Merlin, First Class for his achievements.

His eyes shot open from his fantasy however, as a hand came down and covered his mouth. "Mmmpfff?" He tried to come out of his still dreamy state to see his attacker, but he didn't need to see when he heard, "Quiet, or we'll both get into trouble!"

Potter was there, standing over him, a familiar look of malice in his eyes. Snape knew that not even here, was he safe from the Gryffindor.

James leaned in and straddled Severus on his bed, closing the curtains and casting a silencing spell.

"Tell the truth, okay? You actually like this don't you? You get off on being forced and hurt a bit, hm?" Potter snarled quietly, a soft smirk on his face.

Severus shook his head, but knew he had been wrong to do so when his face was slapped. He nodded, his cheek stinging red.

As Potter began to remove their pajamas, Severus felt a tear slip down his cheek. How had this started? Why was he underneath _Potter?_ Sure, the other boy was handsome, but…No! He did not just think this rapist was handsome! Merlin forbid he actually thought something good about Potter.

His thoughts were cut off by a sudden rough tug of his hair to look James in the eye. "Well if you like it a bit rough, then I guess you'll love being made to scream…"

James positioned his wand so that it was poking Severus in the chest. "It's rather chilly in here, so why don't we…turn up the heat?"

Severus felt a sudden intense warming on his chest and he whimpered as it grew very hot under the wand's small, precise tip. He screamed as it began to burn, "Ahhh!"

Potter grinned, a strange look in his eye. "Oh look, you do get off on a bit of pain!" Potter took hold of Severus' hard member and started pumping it, tugging roughly.

Severus tried not to moan as he realized it was true. This was turning him on. Although, he wasn't sure it was the pain, so much as James Potter himself. Suddenly, the hand and wand were gone, his chest red and scarring already.

He glanced at the Gryffindor and saw James positioning himself in front of Severus' ass. After seeing this, he quickly shut his eyes and braced himself. He felt Potter shove in hard, Severus gasped, he was still very sore from earlier.

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but all that came out was a groan of pain as Potter began to move. He opened his eyes again and looked at Potter, who was giving him that sick grin like he always does.

"S…" Severus said, his intention originally was to say stop, but he was in so much pain that he could hardly speak.

"What?" Potter asked innocently, as if unaware of what he was doing. Severus said nothing in reply, so Potter went on. "Does it feel good? You're a real pervert, you know that?"

"Hurts…" Severus began, not able to say more.

A momentary look of something Severus could not identify passed in Potter's eyes before it vanished, replaced by James' pure evil look, "It does, does it? I'll bet you like that. I wanna hear you scream yourself hoarse, you slimy Slytherin bastard."

He thrust in to the hilt fast and hard, no mercy in his ministrations. He bent over to whisper in the boy's ear, "Lily will never love you, you know. She doesn't go for the cowardly, freak type of guy. Why don't you give up?"

Severus gasped, struggling to breathe. He rasped out, "…love her like a sister…'m gay! Stop, please…"

James just grinned, "Well I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You think I believe you? I've seen the way you look at her when you think she isn't looking."

This was all too much, all Severus wanted to do now was curl up in a hole and die. He had hoped he could make this year a good one, but to no avail. Nothing would ever go his way, his life was a mess.

Without even realizing it, Severus started to cry. This only seemed to spur Potter on to make it worse for him.

Potter finished, coming inside of him, pulling out. "Just because I came, doesn't mean this is over, Snivellus."

Severus curled into the fetal position, murmuring things like, "No, stop, please. I'll do anything. Just leave me alone. So much pain…"

James seemed to have no sympathy, as he pointed his wand at Snape's exposed shoulder. A murmured spell and a few deep cuts later, the Potter crest stood glistening red with blood on Severus.

"You're my play thing. Don't let anyone else touch you, or tonight will be nothing. I can make your life Hell." James got up and left Severus to wallow in his misery.

Once Potter was gone, Severus murmured softly to himself, "You already have…"

**A/N: James is a psychopath, LOL. xD Intense chapter. Thanks for reading. :D**


	6. Private Property

After somehow managing to fall asleep that night, Severus Snape refused to get up in the morning when his friends came to wake him.

"What's the matter?" asked Lucius, who appeared to be the most concerned.

Severus stared up at him, wondering whether it would be safe to tell Lucius or not. He wanted to tell someone, at least. Keeping all this unhappiness pent up inside was torture.

He took a deep breath, "I'll… tell you later, Lucius." He said quietly. Crab and Goyle started to protest, wondering why they didn't get to know, but Lucius put up a hand to silence them

"Very well then. I'll be back here later to talk… unless you want to meet somewhere else to talk?" Lucius agreed.

Severus nodded, "Can we meet in the Room of Requirement? It's a rather…private conversation."

Lucius nodded, "Of course. I understand. I'll meet you there at lunch."

* * *

Severus' day seemed to pass by in a blur. His classes were just a mixture of lectures from the professors and glances from Potter.

He made his way quickly to the Room of Requirement at lunch, avoiding Potter at all costs.

He assumed Lucius had already made a room so he entered. He was in what looked like a normal bedroom, a couch in the middle and a bed in the corner.

Lucius stood as he came in, greeting him with a hug. Severus flinched visibly when the older boy's hand patted his butt. It was probably an accident. "Lucius, for a while now, I've been having trouble with a certain Gryffindor, and his friends…:

Lucius chuckled lightly, "I'm guessing Potter is the Gryffindor. Go on," he gestured.

Snape nodded, "You're right. Well lately they've been…well to be blunt, they've been raping me," he stammered, a blush on his face. He was so embarrassed.

Lucius' eyes narrowed. "They've what?"

"Last night James snuck into my dorm and did this," Severus took of his shirt and showed Lucius the burn on his chest and the Potter crest on his shoulder.

The older boy hissed. "That's sick! Potter truly is the worst kind of person. Come, it'll be alright." He held his arms tightly around the younger boy and smiled gently.

Lucius' hand began to run down Severus' chest and to his stomach. He took his fingers and trailed even further down, unbuttoning Severus' trousers.

"Lucius? W-what are you doing?" Severus felt himself go still, a cold, sinking feeling washing over him. Oh no… "Not you, please not you too!"

"You did it for the others, why don't you do it for me too?" Lucius said in a hushed tone.

"It wasn't like that! I'm telling you… They forced themselves on me! I didn't want any of it!" Severus said, frantically trying to make Lucius believe him.

"Oh really? Then why were you telling Potter to fuck you a few days ago? That sounds consensual to me." Lucius said with a frown.

"You don't understand!" Snape cried. The only friend he could count on had turned around and stabbed him in the back. How could he trust anyone now that this has happened?

Lucius pushed him down onto the couch, pinning him. "We're friends, aren't we? I'll return the favor if you let me fuck you." He offered. He removed his outer robes.

Snape shut his eyes as tightly as possible, trying to imagine he was somewhere else, anywhere else.

And then the worst happened.

A shout of, "Reducto!" was heard. James Potter waltzed in through the hole in the doorway. "Get off him, Malfoy."

Lucius sneered, "Or what, Potter? I'm just joining in on your little fun party with Severus here. Problem?"

"Yes," James ground out, "He's my property. No one may touch him but me! Expelliarmus!"

Lucius was thrown off of Snape. He quickly rose and left the room, throwing a glance back at Snape as he went. "I can get any ass I want in Hogwarts, I don't need this bullshit!"

It was silent for a moment before Potter moved towards Severus, "Didn't I tell you, that no one was to touch you but me?" he growled.

Severus nodded, a pained expression on his face. "It wasn't my fault. I didn't want him to…"

"But he almost had his way. All because you met him here, to complain about me, your owner. You are just my plaything. Don't think highly of yourself. I'm the best you'll ever have."

"If I don't mean anything to you, then why'd you save me?" Severus asked.

For a moment, Potter was at a loss for words. He seemed to be groping for an answer to that question, as if he was unsure himself. Then after a moments thought, he opened his mouth and said, "Didn't I tell you? I don't like people touching what's mine. Simple as that. Don't read into it too much." Potter said quickly, as if trying to assure himself more than Snape.

"I…" Snape started, then stopped. What was he going to say? Something inside of him wanted to say something, but he couldn't quite place his finger on where or what.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, then Potter spoke up, "You're still in trouble, okay? Don't think I'm going to be this nice the next time you see me!" Then stormed out.

Snape sighed. At least he hadn't been punished harshly.

* * *

The rest of Severus' week was rather average, which was pleasantly surprising. He hadn't been touched or hurt at all. He hadn't talked to anyone, but he hadn't been harmed, so it was a success in his book.

Severus remembered potter's warning that he was still in trouble, but the other boy hadn't done anything yet, not that Snape was complaining. It was just…strange. The so called Marauders had been acting a bit off as of late.

Severus personally suspected something was up with Lupin. He looked more ragged than usual, and he wasn't quite sure why he was staring at him.

So Snape found himself standing in front of Sirius Black that night in the corridor after following him that far. "What's wrong with Lupin, Black? Not that I'm concerned of course."

The boy didn't show any surprise that Snape had caught on, "Why don't you come see for yourself, Snivellus? I'll take you to him. But you have to take a wizards oath that everything that happens tonight stays between us."

Snape nodded, curiosity getting the better of him as usual. He made the vow and they continued on, Black stealing anxious, hateful glances at Snape the entire way.

They arrived at the Whomping Willow and followed the path down underneath it to an abandoned, old building Snape recognized as the Shrieking Shack.

Once inside the building, Severus noted that it was extremely old, and probably extremely dangerous, too. Nonetheless, he continued on. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say.

Finally Sirius brought him to a room inside of the shack. He stepped aside from the door, and motioned for Snape to go in. It was at this point that Severus realized that something must be wrong. Why had Sirius so willingly brought him, of all people, to see Lupin?

He cautiously opened the door and took a step inside. Because it was dark, it was hard to see what was going on inside of the room. All the silhouettes seemed to blend together into one giant one.

Then suddenly his eyes detected movement to the right on him, "Who's there?" He asked, expecting an answer.

He heard a growl and gulped. It all came together. The monthly ragged expressions and fatigued faces, the disappearing in the middle of the day to visit Lupin in the hospital wing monthly…Remus Lupin was a werewolf!

A ferocious swipe of claws sent Snape flying backwards, hitting the wall behind him. He passed out.

* * *

He woke up, surprised to be alive. He was obviously in the hospital wing if the blaring white ceiling was any indication. He groaned, pain in his side. He reached down and felt a bit of wetness…blood, probably.

He heard someone clear their throat and he looked to his right. "Potter?" He was surprised to see his rapist there.

"Snape," he nodded his head at the boy. "I uhmn, came to apologize for what Sirius did last night. It was foolish and wrong. You could've…Merlin, you could've died!"

Snape was shocked. Did Potter truly care about his safety? He flushed, nodding. "What happened?"

James grinned, "That's where I come in actually. I had just arrived on the scene to find you passed out, Sirius egging on Remus to eat you. I, in all my coolness, stopped Sirius and consoled Remus." He looked proud of himself.

"Thank you," Severus said suddenly. He looked up at James. The boy was staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Well, now or never, Snape supposed.

He leaned up, brought James forward, and kissed the boy soundly on the lips.

It only lasted a moment before James pushed him off. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed, looking around to make sure that no one had seen them kiss.

"A token of my appreciation." Snape said with a smile. He couldn't tell if Potter had liked it, or was disgusted. Potter seemed to be mulling something over in his head. He began to flush, then stood to leave.

"Where are you going?" Severus questioned him.

"None of your business." He replied coldly as he left.

Severus lay in his bed, wondering if he'd really done the right thing. His decision was clear however. He would have James as his by the end of the year. He was already Potter's, so it was just a matter of time…


End file.
